Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
