p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
