She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
