hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Randomize
