Moan for me like Helen Keller
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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