the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
