Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
