Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
