dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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