I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
