The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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