I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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