i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
