Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
