it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
