i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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