I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
