FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
