kristin has been a bad kristin
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
