If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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