I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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