She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
