My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You don't make any sense
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