My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
