ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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