no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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