Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
