I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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