So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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