I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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