He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
