Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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