ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
