My hand turned me down
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
