so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
