Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
