Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
