I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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