After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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