she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
