Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
