I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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