He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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