it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
