I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
