Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
