Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
