They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
