You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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