If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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